Vital Connections

Part of the definition of vital is “necessary to the maintenance of life,” as in vital organs. For those who want sobriety, nothing is more vital than maintaining connections with other sober people. To stay sober - and to live - we must let others into our lives. Letting others in means sharing what is going on in our brains. And this means telling someone our secrets and darkest thoughts. When we reveal ourselves consistently, and are truly honest and vulnerable with another, our burden lifts and we feel alive in the most positive way.

When darkness and maybe even death lurk in the mind of an alcoholic/addict, it is a tiny step towards using, or to actual death. Without getting help with skewed thinking, those suffering from addiction believe what their brains say,’ and the brain of an alcoholic/addict can say some terrible things.

Often you’ll hear sober people chuckle and outright laugh with each other about their wacky thinking. They, and I can say, we, have a good time sharing with each other. We reveal secrets from the depths of our souls and divulge thoughts maybe not so deep, but petty. Basically, we don’t isolate ourselves with our own thinking. The thinking is what got us drunk in the first place! Yes, in recovery we have fun and enjoy life but also walk supported in troubling times, because we connect.

So, I was delighted and excited to meet a new family member, recently out of rehab, when he contacted me on Instagram a few months ago. He reached out to connect. I responded and gave him info. to a resource he had requested. Then, he contacted me again a few times, again through Instagram. I gave him the numbers again, and asked for his phone number. He did not respond. That was last week. Yesterday, I got a call that he had taken his own life. He shot himself in his bedroom. I can’t even imagine what his immediate family is going through now.

We must never forget addiction is a serious and often deadly affliction. Sometimes accompanying depression may seep in, too, which is all the more reason to connect, connect, connect. Other sober people hold us up when we are too heavy for ourselves. Our very lives as recovering people depend upon cultivating relationships where we feel safe, heard and known. These relationships - these people - are our vital connections.

Who do you feel safe with today? Do you have a secret that needs to be let out? If so, connect with your safe person and tell them every little thing that’s rattling around in your brain. Your life depends on it.