Triggers: Avoiding Relapse During a Holiday Pandemic
Managing triggers during a normal holiday season can be troublesome. Add a pandemic, and triggers can appear in wacky 3-D proportions, where pulling the trigger seems to make good sense. Anyone in recovery knows, though, that pulling the trigger means losing emotional sobriety or worse, relapse into addiction. To prepare for this holiday stretch, it might be helpful to think of the pandemic as an opportunity to up your recovery game.
Without taking that holiday trip to see family or friends, you might have some extra time to reflect on recovery and your triggers. Maybe you will be triggered in a new way, or an old trigger may show up with a different face. Whatever triggers you have, in whatever shape, form - or time - they are never an excuse to act out or go back to using. With triggers about us everywhere, and really, at all times, the question becomes: How do we manage triggers and avoid relapse? If you don’t know how to answer this question for yourself, read on:
1. Know your triggers. Take the time to identify your personal triggers. (All triggers are personal, so what may trigger you may never trigger your friend.) If you know your triggers, you will be better able to pause, make a positive decision, and act or not act, accordingly. If eggnog triggers you to fantasize about holiday drinking, best not to buy it this season. If your partner’s eyebrow raise triggers you to want to defend yourself, just “watch the movie,” as my mentor used to say. Buying the eggnog or putting up a grand defense is pulling the trigger. By knowing our triggers, we are in a better position to manage them.
2. H-A-L-T. We are tempted to pull the trigger when Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired. In each case, taking care of first things first – addressing the hungry, angry, lonely, and tired – will dissolve even the most bothersome of triggers.
3. Work through cravings. If you have cravings, it is possible to distract yourself long enough until the craving passes. Healthy distractions are: calling a sober buddy, meditating, taking a walk, engaging in your hobby, watching a movie. If cravings are ever that bad, there is always something to do instead of using!
4. Acknowledge feelings. Avoiding, denying, or discounting feelings is never helpful. A lot of people in recovery, especially now during these pandemic holidays, feel achingly isolated. Isolation can not be cured by staying alone with our feelings. Pick up the phone and talk to a trusted friend. Or, plan a social distance visit in the park. If you are feeling stressed or anxious in some way, again, pick up that phone! Talk it out with your trusted someone. It is okay to feel and be exactly you in this moment. This can’t be underscored enough. If we honestly acknowledge our feelings, we won’t need to cover them with using or acting out in some self-destructive way
5. Prepare. Prepare. Prepare. Whether you have a social distancing event to attend, a stressful phone call to make, or a plan with your rebellious teenager, think of doing a dress rehearsal in your mind before said occasion. Visualizing in your mind how you want to handle any potentially triggering situation may help you handle it in a way you want. Picture how you want to be, what you will say, and what boundaries you want to make. This rehearsing will set you up for success. The follow-through increases self-esteem, too.
You may notice that triggers during a pandemic holiday may be the same, or different, from any other time. Triggers are like that. They lurk here and there, disguised or blatantly overt, waiting for us to pounce and pull the trigger. It is our job to manage our triggers and refrain from pulling the trigger. Any loss of control (pulling the trigger) is never the trigger’s fault.
You may have a few ways you manage your own triggers that aren’t covered here. Feel free to email me or post your own way of managing your personal triggers.