Pandemic Do’s and Don’ts for Living Well in Recovery
The addict brain, roaming alone, is not a fun zone. Especially now.
Spiral thinking, leading to a swelling despair and loneliness addicted people know so well – even without a pandemic – can whirl into overwhelming proportions, spinning like a black hole only to cave in on itself, swallowing up the addict’s very existence.
This past year, increased tension at home, aching isolation, depression, thoughts of suicide and more have added up to heaps of stress for both addicted and recovering people (not to mention those who might fall prey to addiction). Some addicts have taken their own lives, including an extended family member of mine who shot himself a month ago.
As a recovering person myself, I admit my brain can go to gloomy places, too. Particularly when I leave it alone for too long. With some concrete guidelines and connection with trusted others, I feel fortunate to remember:
Recovery from addiction is doable and can be
love-filled and meaningful,
no matter what circumstance or what contagion is on deck.
How do I keep this mindset? To answer, I’ve came up with some of what I do, and some of what I don’t do, to stay on the recovery beam.
These Do’s and Don’ts help me live well and love more during these challenging times.
DO:
Accept everything “as is.” Knowing this is not submission but a way to make love, not war.
Reflect on the good. Everyone has more alone time now, and contemplation can be a good thing. For example, I muse on what is right about people and the world. I also think about who I love, or how I might uplift someone’s day or contribute to humanity, even if just a little bit.
Take positive action. Do that thing to uplift and contribute. No ifs, ands or buts, just DO IT!
Connect with others. Maintain relationships, or start a new one on a Zoom meeting (using the “chat” feature;)).
Keep a regular routine. For me, this is rising early, spending an hour reading with a 20 minute meditation. I eat three healthy meals a day and go to regular meetings. In between is work, taking care of household matters and whatever service opportunities come up.
Do something just for pleasure. My feel good, fun activities are: taking a hike in nature, petting my cat, watching birds bathe in the garden fountain, writing, and organizing things. What gives you pleasure?
DON’T:
Dwell on and peddle the beef. I don’t want to ruminate and gripe. I’d rather figure out what to do about the upset, and leave the thought regurgitation and complaining out of it. That said, I may need to moan a bit to trusted other - the one who won’t buy the beef I’m selling.
Gossip. Tempting sometimes, but oh so unhelpful and hurtful. A moment or minutes of silence are okay in any relationship or conversation.
Watch too much news. I stopped binging on the newsfeed when I recognized how my upsets were fed by bulks of over chewed chunks of depressing information. I stay current with what is going on, but not to an over-masticated degree.
Blame. Don’t know about you, but when I’m irritated or generally cranky I immediately want to blame someone or something for my discomfort. When I want to blame, I instead seize the moment as an opportunity to see what in me needs attention, healing or growth.
Isolate. Experience has taught me too much time alone leads to Addiction Alley, where resentments fester and a despairing loneliness hovers and smothers. Recovering people must connect with other sober people to stay on Recovery Road. Our very lives depend upon sober relationships.
Make excuses for why I can’t do any of the above. There is no good excuse to avoid creating a better mind space and life for myself during a pandemic, or any time, really.
What is the result of all of this work (and other stuff I’ve left out)?
I experience feeling good about me, and then my ability to feel good about you and the world expands. In other words, I find joy, love and meaning in my life, even right now, as I see suffering in the world as it is. In short, I get to live well.
These are unprecedented, depressing and (let’s just say it) crappy times, I agree. I feel it, too. But that doesn’t mean I won’t stop doing recovery work, or practicing my Do’s and Don’ts on a daily basis. How about you? Want to pick a Do and do it right now?